Saturday, September 27, 2014

Reality purees

After publishing my previous post, I spent some time contemplating my remarks regarding a fatuous stint on reality tv. I quickly came to the conclusion that my ultimate goal should be aiming for the 15 minutes of ads, not the 15 minutes of ads masquerading as a show.

If I'm not mistaken, I've seen a masterchef winner hocking laundry detergent. Now there's someone who's opting for longevity and brighter whites and I like it.

So, while labouring to fall asleep last night, I asked myself "is there a product that I would refuse to promote?", and the answer hit me like a bullet... a nutribullet, to be more precise. Yes, I do think it's one more unnecessary appliance to clutter your house, but that's not the reason for my decision. The truth is that I just can't act that badly.

If you hand me a glass of puréed prawns, prunes and the gonads of the actors who failed to exhibit sufficient enthusiasm (i.e. people who have long known about the existence of blenders and are grappling with finding their character's motivation), then you'd better be prepared to be wearing that drink (edit: nutriblast). And this is where we come full circle because that masterchef winner has cornered the detergent market with a product so magical that it will remove the toughest of nutribullet stains.


  1. I just saw Stephanie Rice gallantly trying to sell powdered juice - 'If you love freshly squeezed juice like I do, you'll love this powdered stuff blah blah'. Now say it like you mean it.

  2. Years of training and she ends up selling tang.